This journal entry was written May 6, 2005. It was my third journal entry written chronicling my healing experience. It takes place at the end of my fourth week at the Optimal Health Institute. I journal-ed every day from this point until I left the institute, so for the next three months. I wrote in my journal, sometimes three times a day. It was a key part of my healing routine. This post chronicles the changes I experienced to date in body, mind, and spirit. The full story is in my memoir Shadow Summit.
I will begin with body. When I came five weeks ago, my body was quite stiff. I remember taking my introductory tour around the grounds and having a tough time getting around. It was a struggle going down the stairs by the wheatgrass greenhouse. I had to gingerly go down the stairs and strongly hold on to the railing. It was like there was a two-foot invisible force-field around my body that was like a blind spot ; t did not have any sensation. I stumbled and had trouble walking through the garden and up the back stairs during the tour.
During exercise on the first morning, I remember I couldn’t touch my knees to the ground on the lunges and had a real difficult time kicking my legs to the right and punching my hands to the left. During the lap around, we (Robyn and I) only went one time around on the first day rather then two because I was too fatigued to go the second. And even the one lap was abbreviated. I had to cut it short and not go around the pool as the path was too narrow and it was too frustrating to maintain my balance.
On the second day during the walk, I could barely make it up the backside hill and had to take it slow through the portion of the walk that flattened out through Rachel’s garden. For the first two weeks, I took it real slow around the place during the walk and people routinely sped past me. On the third week, I was strong enough to go all the way around “the narrows” of the pool. My performance has improved to the point where today I led the walk around the grounds during exercise, and maintain my pace the entire time. During the yoga stretching classes each day, I have been able to improve my balance and flexibility to the point where today I am able to touch my forehead to my feet. When I started, I could only get my head halfway to my feet. Also during the arm stretching exercises I had to drop my arms early and rest during the first two weeks, but this is no longer the case.
I learned that certain cooked foods cause the body to send white blood cells to my stomach to help break down the food, a condition known as Leukosychosis. This causes the body to have to work really hard to metabolize food. Raw food still has its enzymes to assist in breaking the food down, so the body doesn’t have to work as hard. This allows the body to focus its efforts on healing.
In terms of my mind, the key thing I have taken from the past five weeks is hope. I have hope for the future. I am excited about my future with Robyn, so much so that I am planning for our child’s future education. In the past, I did not have the motivation or desire to look into this. Now the desire is burning with in me!! (Jack was not conceived for another five months and born about fourteen months from this date.)
I have been meditating each day. I have this MS meditation CD on my itunes that I listen to frequently throughout the day that guides me through healing my nerves and that I find really helpful. I have learned so much about the mind’s ability to help heal. From watching movies like What the Bleep to books like Molecules of Emotion, I have learned that what I allow my body to focus on in terms of thoughts has a real impact on my health, positive words or sounds played to water molecules as they freeze allows them to form amazing crystal shapes while negative words and sounds played to water molecules as they freeze causes them to form ugly fractured shapes.
In terms of the spirit, my key take-away is that nurturing the spirit is key to making the body whole. I have left the spirit out of the equation over the past eight years. Being at OHI has exposed me to tools to bring spirituality into my life. There is a class here on Thursdays that allows me to connect with my seven spiritual centers or charkas through music and chanting. It shows me the charkas that need work. A key spiritual lesson I have also learned is that I need to get in touch with my passion or Aros. I am journaling daily to get in touch with feeling that I have kept bottled up. Getting in touch with my passion will unlock my human potential and allow me to have the greatest impact on humanity.
I am going to close my reflecting with some comments about Robyn. About how important she is to me, and how she is helping me heal. Robyn has fully embraced the program. Her support and encouragement is going to grease the healing wheel and make things come so much easier. She has already changed out our kitchen to be all raw and she has signed up for a couple of raw food preparation classes. She is even going to change her major at Santa Monica college to nutrition. Her enthusiasm and excitement fuels my enthusiasm and excitement. It’s infectious. It is a challenge for us to be separated for three months before our first year anniversary, but we both see such an incredible future ahead, following the path we are currently on. This has brought us so much joy and excitement into our lives. She truly is the yin to my yang. I am so Fortunate that she is in my life!
Do you journal? What has been the impact?